its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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