I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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