she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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