"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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