my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
