I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
