once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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