Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
