hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
