I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize