I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
