So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
