i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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