you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
