who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
