i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
