I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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