i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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