Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
