pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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