Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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