that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
