Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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