idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
