Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
