she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
