the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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