I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
