Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
