My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize