my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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