I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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