i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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