K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
