She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
