I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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