Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
