I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize