She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
