You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
