my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
