Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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