Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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