you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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