i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize