I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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