I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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