dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
