I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
