Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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