The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
