He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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