i wish my penis had a tongue
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You did what with his pubic hair?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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