some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
