I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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