The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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