So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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