Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
