That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
