I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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