im having a threesome with these popsicles
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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