If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
