He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
