Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
