We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize