just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
