Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize
