Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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