I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
