before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
