you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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