she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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