just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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