ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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