The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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