Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
