Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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