Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The uberlube is also flammable
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
