The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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