You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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