ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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