I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
